A rayformer thinks he was ilicted because he was a rayformer, whin th thruth iv th matther is he was ilicted because no wan knew him.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

A man's idea in a game of cards is war, cruel, devastating, and pitiless. A lady's idea of it is a combination of larceny, embezzlement and burglary.

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

The past always looks better than it was; it's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.

That is, no matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns.

What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.

An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.

Blessed is the person who desired to read the Holy Scriptures. It’s brings great reward to those who believe, trust and obey the Holy instructions.

I love stories about people that, whatever situation they're in, you can relate to them in a way.

If you want to be a champion you cannot have any kind of an outside negative force coming in to deflect you.

Seeing is believing to most families who have lived with a drinker.

I ain't never far away from a pencil and paper or a tape recorder.

I'd worked so hard that by the time I was 20, I wanted to play hard. And I did that really well.

I thought the whole masturbation thing was really odd and really weird.

I feel sure that no girl would go to the altar if she knew all.

I’ve had all the monstrosity I want.