A real desire to believe all the good you can of others and to make others as comfortable as you can will solve most of the problems.

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.

It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

Insane love.Loving insanity.Insanity and love...

A writer’s brain is like a magician’s hat. If you’re going to get anything out of it, you have to put something in it first

State your point. If the opposite party doesn't agree, state it harder- with a punch.

If you give a party, you better give it right.

One must take what nature gives as one finds it.

It's very slow for me to create humor. It takes me a long time to write a humor piece. It takes days.

There is but one means to extenuate the effects of enemy fire: it is to develop a more violent fire oneself.

Did ever a man try heroism, magnanimity, truth, sincerity, and find that there was no advantage in them - that it was a vain endeavor?

He who does not seek advice is a fool. His folly blinds him to Truth and makes him evil, stubborn, and a danger to his fellow man.

Almost everyone I meet is successful because of doing a lot of things right, and almost everyone I meet is successful in spite of some behavior that defies common sense.