A small waist makes you tire easily.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Love makes the world go round? Not at all. Whiskey makes it go round twice as fast.

An intelligent woman is a goldmine! She has the ability to learn, reason and understand things better and faster than her contemporaries. She is competent, alert and can reason out stuffs easily.

As I count my blessings, I feel God's Loving Hands touching each of them.

Grief is like a long valley, a winding valley where any bend may reveal a totally new landscape.

Focus isn't about hammering one nail all our lives.It’s about hammering lots of nails, one way, all our lives.

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.

My wife ain't gonna make love to me if I got no money!

I even found it difficult to watch myself playing on TV because I couldn't identify with the person on the screen. I couldn't get to grips with it. It was as if it was all happening to someone else.

I'll keep battling for that No. 1 spot.

It's hard to win when you always lose.