A society that gets rid of all its troublemakers goes downhill.

A generation which ignores history has no past — and no future.

Courage is the complement of fear. A man who is fearless cannot be courageous. [He is also a fool.]

A woman is not property, and husbands who think otherwise are living in a dreamworld.

Never try to outstubborn a cat.

There is no conclusive evidence of life after death, but there is no evidence of any sort against it. Soon enough you will know, so why fret about it?

Be wary of strong drink, it can make you shoot at the tax collector...and miss.

God split himself into a myriad parts that he might have friends. This may not be true, but it sounds good—and is no sillier than any other theology.

History has the relation to truth that theology has to religion — ie., none to speak of

That was her magic— she could still see the sunseteven on those darkest days.

Who gave you a gun?''The army.''Why?''That's what the army does, Simon.

Make peace with yourself, and both heaven and earth will make peace with you.

All civilizations at some time have fallen into this total terror, when the mystery of life was a kind of panic only to be assuaged by the spilling of blood.

Look for the ridiculous in everything and you find it.

I've always thought those guys are really funny. And I love Dumb and Dumber, Kingpin and Mary.

If you would know contentment, let your deeds be few.

Only by counting could humans demonstrate their independence of computers.

We're football people, not poets, but obviously I'm disappointed with the result.

Energy is the essence of life. Every day you decide how you’re going to use it by knowing what you want and what it takes to reach that goal, and my maintaining focus.