A squirrel is the same as a can, when there's a bb gun in my hand. Can't you see that I am just a man? With distinctions... and comparisons.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

We can let go of the person or love or friendship without letting go of the lesson.

A writer is not born but made through study and sheer willpower and ability to embrace beauty and agony.

You will give to those whom don't appreciate you, until you've had enough of accepting less than you deserve

Strange how few After all's said and done the things that are Of moment.

The mystical poetry of William Blake's artwork also forms the basis for the album cover.

Just think of the tragedy of teaching children not to doubt.

If money is your hope for independence you will never have it

Then, fare thee well, deceitful Maid!

For the provision of God constantly to be at work in our lives we must activate the laws of God.

Time heals all wounds, unless you pick at them.