A successful man cannot realize how hard an unsuccessful man finds life.

I always tell kids, you have two eyes and one mouth. Keep two open and one closed. You never learn anything if you're the one talking.

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity.

You've got to love what you're doing. If you love it, you can overcome any handicap, or the soreness, or all the aches and pains and continue to play for a long, long time.

Imagination is not something apart and hermetic, not a way of leaving reality behind; it is a way of engaging reality.

Nowhere is wisdom more necessary than in the guidance of charitable impulses. Meaning well is only half our duty; Thinking right is the other, and equally important, half.

Photography must be integrated with the story.

The rebels did more in one night than my whole army would have done in one month.

Never tell a secret to a bride or a groom; wait until they have been married longer.

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.

The language of the face is not taught by the schools; it is intuitive, and to the observant is always legible.

You’re a fool, ” Quinhelm accused. “Any man who would allow himself to be bewitched by a woman needs a good dunking in a cold barrel of water.” (Quinhelm, the wizard, from BRIGGEN)

Somebody's real voice is probably the hardest one that somebody could attempt.

I don't want to call anyone an outright winner without having seen everything.

The most important secret of salesmanship is to find out what the other fellow wants, then help him find the best way to get it

The secret to success is to offend the greatest number of people.

Holding up my purring cat to the moon. I sighed.

I do longer runs on things, a lot stories. I really like one-liners, I like a lot of different kinds of standup but I've always been long-winded.

There are moments in which a rose is more important than a piece of bread

Don't show up to prove. Show up to improve.

To extinguish the free will is to strike the conscience with death, for both have but one and the same life.