A sure way to lose happiness, I found, is to want it at the expense of everything else.

It's better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for someone you're not. It's a sign of your worth sometimes, if you're hated by the right people.

You should never say bad things about the dead, you should only say good . . . Joan Crawford is dead. Good.

There comes a time in every woman's life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.

Getting old is not for sissies.

Some young Hollywood starlets remind me of my grandmother's old farmhouse -- all painted up nice on the front side, a big swing on the backside, and nothing whatsoever in the attic.

You will never be happier than you expect. To change your happiness, change your expectation.

If everyone likes you, you're not doing it right.

If you've never been hated by your child, you've never been a parent.

My passions were all gathered together like fingers that made a fist. Drive is considered aggression today; I knew it then as purpose.

The key to life is accepting challenges. Once someone stops doing this, he's dead.

If my generation is remembered for anything, it will be as the last one that remembers the world before the Internet.

I thought [when I was 16] my days were just going to be spent hanging out on a beach and my girlfriend was going to be Miss Teen USA and my best friend will be a dolphin.

Do not stand directly in front of a cannon...how true that is.

You put an old Misfits record on, and it sounds like it came out yesterday.

The camel has evolved to be relatively self-sufficient. On the other hand, the camel has not evolved to smell good. Neither has Perl.

To the landscape architect a rock garden... appears... the work of a lunatic.

Why things get canceled or not is so unbelievably out of actors' hands that it's one of those things where you've just got to ride with it.

It must be observed that our revenues are raised almost wholly on imported goods.

Always remember that you are bigger than the moment, you are more than anything that could ever happen to you.

I don't like pretentious films or pretentious people.