A surefire method of setting up regular communication with your kids is to get a job in an office which discourages personal phone calls. Your kids will then call you every hour on the hour.

Of course the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Why do you think the neighbors put up the fence?

to balance my own checkbook each month, I simply record whatever is necessary in the following manner: '37 cents to cover embezzlement by somebody at the bank.

No matter what sign you were born under, everybody else's horoscope will be more fun than yours.

Take it from me: no matter how few or how many children you have, or how little or how much money you make, your expenses are going to exceed your income by approximately a hundred dollars a month.

We choose to do things that make us Cry. We don't know Why? We blame the Sky. We do not Try. Oh My! What a way to Die!!!

Lust? I have no desire to incite lust in anyone."Veliss turned to her with a quizzical expression, her smile suddenly genuine. "Then I'm afraid you're in for a lifetime of disappointment.

I want people to like me but not at my expense.

You know, sometimes guys work with other guys because they're buddies off the track, not necessarily because they're buddies on the track. Sometimes you've got that going against you or for you.

who desires all people to be saved and come to full knowledge of the truth.

Noah's wife, who said to him after 40 days and 40 nights, It's your turn to spread the papers on the floor! Never got a dinner!

And if you think my acts are foolishness the foolishness may be in a fool's eye.

It's simple arithmetic: "Your income can grow only to the extent you do."

As you grow older, you'll find the only things you regret are the things you didn't do.