A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet for the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

To shame our sins He blushed in blood

I'm not sure if you even want me around or if you just feel sorry for me. I'm not sure of anything.

There are no higher levels of consciousness, there are only different ways of perceiving things.

Oh my brethren, Bold hearted men are always called mean-spirited by cowards!

My top three were Jim Brown, Wilt Chamberlain and Bo Jackson.

Tis more dishonourable to distrust a friend than to be deceived by him.

You create your own audience, and your own community of peers, and in some ways you create your own forebears as well.

The librarian's mission should be, not like up to now, a mere handling of the book as an object, but rather a know how (mise au point) of the book as a vital function.

Healing through the mind can work harmoniously with medicine.

It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it.