A true friend is a gift from God. Since God doesn't exist, guess what? Neither do true friends.

Be sure to lie to your kids about the benevolent, all-seeing Santa Claus. It will prepare them for an adulthood of believing in God.

Statistically speaking, there is a 65 percent chance that the love of your life is having an affair. Be very suspicious.

If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.

‎"As Oedipus learned, the more you run away from what is predetermined the more you run toward it.

The knowledge of God gives a person the opportunity to not be a slave to wealth.

I have ridden out all the storms, ” said Shakespeare, “even the ones I wrote myself. Here, look, it begins…

All bands are in danger of losing their identity. Constantly.

My dad always told me that I could be anything I wanted, if I was willing to work hard enough to achieve it.

How might letters be most efficiently copied so that the blind might read them with their fingers?

When I was a kid I was very particular. I was actually beyond particular. I would iron my money and spray it with Polo cologne.

I can't be smug, because I know that you can lose anything at any point. And I can't be angry, because I haven't lost it.

An innovator is one who does not know it cannot be done.

All we know is that the school achievement, IQ test score, and emotional and social development of working mothers' children are every bit as good as that of children whose mothers do not work.