A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.

Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.

One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.

Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.

You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.

A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.

Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.

Today, there are three kinds of people: the haves, the have-nots, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves.

Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

everything either has to do with love or money

Accept life on life's terms and just let things go.

We save paradise by an intense education program where you get people that you can trust to talk sanely about the environment and hope that the message will get through.

Hence, a traveller should be a botanist, for in all views plants form the chief embellishment.

People are always asking me how much I'm worth. Well, all I can say is, I've got enough money to last me the rest of my life. As long as I die in the next 20 minutes.

An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a definite proposition... A contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says." No, it's not.

Put on light-coloured clothes and some perfume, take care of your body and do everything you can to fight against the forces of darkness. It is not an easy struggle, but it is worthwhile.

Every couple weeks I'll listen to Sibelius's Seventh Symphony, just to check in, to see how it's doing. It's doing OK.

If you start thinking about stats it can get too complicated and you just have to go out there and play your game.

6.6 million people will benefit from a rise in the minimum wage.