A whipper-snapper of criticism who quoted dead languages to hide his ignorance of life.

I was born old and get younger every day. At present I am sixty years young.

Ladies, just a little more virginity, if you don't mind.

People are too apt to treat God as if he were a minor royalty.

Cynicism is the humor of hatred.

He is an old bore. Even the grave yawns for him.

God is a sort of burglar. As a young man you knock him down; as an old man you try to conciliate him, because he may knock you down.

The only man who wasn't spoilt by being lionized was Daniel.

A man never knows what a fool he is until he hears himself imitated by one.

I'll have that one, please.

A committee should consist of three men, two of whom are absent.

There are two kinds of diamonds in this world: The diamond itself and the eyes full of love!

Concealed talent brings no reputation.

The philosophy of life is this: Life is not a struggle, not a tension... Life is bliss. It is eternal wisdom, eternal existence.

Value people because of who they were deep down, not because of their names or their parents’ clout.

Constipation was one of the things she hated most in the world, on par with despicable men who commit domestic violence and narrow-minded religious fundamentalists.

What we must understand is that the industries, processes, and inventions created by modern science can be used either to subjugate or liberate. The choice is up to us.

When information is cheap, attention becomes expensive.

There's something beautiful about keeping certain aspects of your life hidden. Maybe people and clouds are beautiful because you can't see everything.

Our life is a long and arduous quest after Truth and the soul requires inward restfulness to attain its full height.

I'm damn successful but I got here by not taking crap. I still don't take crap, so if anybody needs a champion, let it be me.