A woman always has half an onion left over, no matter what the size of the onion, the dish or the woman

The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they've found it.

The purpose of this lectchoor is to let you know where we are. We are in the deep cack. It couldn't be worse if it was raining arseholes. Any questions?

It's lies. It's all lies. Some of them are just prettier than others, that's all. People see what they think is there.

It's not lying when you do it to officers!

Do you think it's possible for an entire nation to be insane?

This was not a fairy-tale castle and there was no such thing as a fairy-tale ending, but sometimes you could threaten to kick the handsome prince in the ham-and-eggs.

There was this about vampires : they could never look scruffy. Instead, they were... what was the word... deshabille. It meant untidy, but with bags and bags of style.

Who shall I shoot? You choose. Now, listen very carefully: where's your coffee? You've got coffee, haven't you? C'mon, everyone's got coffee! Spill the beans!

Maladict had hallucinations, but Wazzer had a certainty you could bend steel around. It was the opposite of a hallucination, somehow. It was as if she could see what was real and you couldn't.

Ankh-Morpork is a godless city--''I thought it had more than three hundred places of worship?' said Maladict. city', he recovered.

If you require force to promote your ideal, there is something wrong with your ideal.

The yearly tradition of Christmas is bountifully supported - without the need to ever fade.

Laborsaving devices do not necessarily save time, but they increase our expectactations of what mothers should accomplish

That part of the Englishman's nature which has found gratification in religion is now drifting into political life.

Life is beautiful in all it's colors, even the darker ones, they're here for a reason.

The state that has a very, very special place in my heart. I love people of Arizona and together we are going to win the White House in November.

I am proud to be a member of a party that opens its doors to all men--and closes its hearts to none.

The materialist assumption that spiritual substances do not exist is as much an act of faith as the religious belief in the reality of angels.

To me, it's like happiness is about happiness, but happiness is a fight.

The president should stop apologizing, stop being defensive. The reality is the NSA has saved thousands of lives not just in the United States but in France, Germany and throughout Europe.