A woman is a woman until the day she dies, but a man's man only as long as he can

Love is like playing checkers. You have to know which man to move.

Advice to children crossing the street: damn the lights. Watch the cars. The lights ain't never killed nobody.

Ain't nothin' an ol' man can do but bring me a message from a young one.

Black women, white women- all of them. I'm colorblind. I don't know the difference. I only know you're a human being and you're my children.

Anytime you see me with my arms around an old man, I'm holding him for the police.

My husband was so ugly, he used to stand outside the doctor’s office and make people sick.

It's no disgrace to be old. But damn if it isn't inconvenient.

The teenagers aren't all bad. I love 'em if nobody else does. There ain't nothing wrong with young people. Jus' quit lyin' to 'em.

I don't want nothing old but some old money. Buy me some young ideas. That's what I'm gonna do with it.

Use those brains that God put in your head.

... food is not simply organic fuel to keep body and soul together, it is a perishable art that must be savoured at the peak of perfection.

I think about the personal accomplishment, but there's more of a sense of the grand achievement by all the people who could put this man on the moon.

A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They've been offending other people for centuries.

Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to vote for Colonel Sanders.

Take pride in exactly what it is you do and remember it's okay to fail as long as you don't give up.

Unless the law of marriage were first made human, it could never become divine.

I want to be alone with my thought.

The key to success is failure

There are times when sorrow seems to me to be the only truth.

Fate can be one mean god at times.