A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?". She doesn't care what you think.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

Being kind is more important than being right.

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

I say if it's going to be done, let's do it. Let's not put it in the hands of fate. Let's not put it in the hands of someone who doesn't know me. I know me best. Then take a breath and go ahead.

Do you love me, Rain?""More than I knew it was possible to love. All the stars will fall from the heavens before I ever stop.

The only way out of the current crisis is to amend the Constitution.

A school’s job [is] to begin education.

Sweetheart, wake up; you've destroyed the house and I need you to suffer for it.

The top 15 contenders for the Republican nomination own at least 40 guns among them. If we elect a Republican president no one is hopping over the White House fence ever again.

I was never in a mental institution for a long time. I was in psych wards.

Surprise is the beginning of wisdom.

You lie. Worse, you lie poorly.

There is no patch for stupidity.