A woman's love is like the morning dew. It's just as likely to settle on a horse turd as a rose.

True maturity is only reached when a man realizes he has become a father figure to his girlfriends' boyfriend - and he accepts it

Self-parody is the first portent of age.

Only a rank degenerate would drive 1,500 miles across Texas without eating a chicken fried steak.

Backward is just not a natural direction for Americans to look - historical ignorance remains a national characteristic.

If you wait, all that happens is that you get older.

Uva uvum vivendo varia fit

People would be bored shitless if they had to love only the good in someone they care about.

Incompetents invariably make trouble for people other than themselves.

Yesterday's gone on down the river and you can't get it back.

If you want one thing too much it’s likely to be a disappointment. The healthy way is to learn to like the everyday things, like soft beds and buttermilk—and feisty gentlemen.

Fathers, your are the head and strength of the family unit. If you are not in place, there is a weakness in the link.

One person's garbage is another person's commodity.

That’s right, Justina!' he said more thanonce. 'We’re going to knock those demons out and slay them with the power of Jesus. Hallelujah, can I get an amen?

The older I grow, the more I listen to people who don't talk much.

It's become impossible to enjoy most quality television shows because the hurt or endangered women device is so frequently used.

One outcome is almost certain. Extremism stands to benefit enormously from an uncalculated adventure in Iraq.

Acting has always been a passion of mine, so any opportunity that allows me to do that is definitely of interest to me.

Religion is consciousness-raising. It raises you higher than the problem, it gives you a bird's-eye view.

It's a blessing to be paid to be in paradise. The Hawaiian people are so friendly.

Aren't all ballets sexy? I think they should be. I can think of nothing more kinky than a prince chasing a swan around all night.