A woman's quest in life should be to find the perfect apartment. And I have found the perfect apartment. The perfect apartment is the first floor of the Metropolitan Museum. With a sofa.

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Think before you speak. Read before you think.

My favorite animal is steak.

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.

A hobby is, of course, an abomination, as are all consuming interests and passions that do not lead directly to large, personal gain.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

There are two modes of transport in Los Angeles: car and ambulance. Visitors who wish to remain inconspicuous are advised to choose the latter

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

Every day and every night, I dance with Jesus Christ, Prophet Mohammad & all personal Gods: Krishna, Shiva & Buddha. You are welcome too !

Why do you wake up in the morning?

The prayer of the church determines the history and the fate of its people as well as the whole earth

You know, one of my fears about living alone so long is that you get used to doing everything your own way.

We seek to be as nimble as a startup.

Being converted to Jesus is learning to so adore God that we would gladly renounce everything we have to follow Him.

That's what I'd call him if he was my dog. Jacket-humper. Kinda had a ring to it. Although it seemed a little long for vet visits and intros to lady dogs.

I told my staff that I'm so boring that I didn't even know I was boring.

Unwisely, Santa offered a teddy bear to James, unaware he had been mauled by a grizzly earlier this year.