APHORISM, n. Predigested wisdom.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

The object isn't to make art, it's to be in that wonderful state which makes art inevitable.

Writing is my pleasure and the play, where I find myself again and again.

The perfect body protects its owner from disease, gives birth to amazing new people and stops your bones from falling out. The end.

And if I know anything at all, it's that a wall is just a wall and nothing more at all. It can be broken down.

Comparing the Brooklyn that I know with Manhattan is like comparing a comfortable and complacent duenna to her more brilliant and neurotic sister.

I always trust the microcosm over the macrocosm.

They will do anything for the worker, except become one.

Within neoliberal narratives, the message is clear: Buy/ sell/ or be punished.

We live with the decisions we makeThat’s what bravery is. Standing by the consequences of your mistakes.

The banjo is such a happy instrument--you can't play a sad song on the banjo - it always comes out so cheerful.