Acting is a different discipline. On stage I'm free to say what I please. But the change is very good for ya.

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

A woman's mind is as complex as the contents of her handbag; even when you get to the bottom of it, there is ALWAYS something at the bottom to surprise you!

So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?

Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.

The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.

I think age is terribly overrated. You're okay as long as you don't grow up. By all means grow old, but don't mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.

Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.

Isn’t it time to start giving yourself the great gift of your own love?

I flinch. Maybe you have to be male to understanding that castration can't be reduced to finger-scissors and some onomatopoeia.

The unique fingerprint of every individual defines our unique purpose and mission on earth.

As a pastor I've spent 30 years talking to people and heard every kind of story imaginable.

An adventure story is fear recalled in comfort.

One may not condemn a man for succeeding financially because he knows how. Neither may one with justice take away for a man what he has fairly earned, to give to men of less ability.

You can do anything in the world if you say "Hey man, don't blame me, the devil made me do it. It's an easy way to escape responsibility."

I support women. I'm like a human BRA.

The pleasure that is granted to me from a sense of duty ceases to be a pleasure at all.

The duty of helping one's self in the highest sense involves the helping of one's neighbors.