Actually, I stopped looking at myself in the mirror years ago. I wasn't making it to work on time.

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

It's all about being a part of something in the community, socializing with people who share interests and coming together to help improve the world we live in.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.

Then he started his period.One week in bed.Two doctors in.Three painkillers four times a day.And later a letter to the powers-that-bedemanding full-paid menstrual leave twelve weeks per year.

The woman of my dreams. The woman of my nightmares. Everything good and bad about my life. The “I do” that “I didn’t.

The simple truth is that every human being should be born with basic human rights without suffering from discrimination.

I admire people like Warren Buffett that are donating so much money to charity.

If I spoke Italian, I'd be in Italy in a minute. I love the food, I love the way people live there. I mean, it really is my idea of paradise.

Use memories. Do not let memories use you.

New York is the cubist, the futurist city. It expresses in its architecture, its life, its spirit, the modern thought.

I don't feel sure about doing good in any way now; everything seems like going on a mission to a people whose language I don't know.

To be good, we must do good; and by doing good we take a sure means of being good, as the use and exercise of the muscles increase their power.

Advertising is the art of persuasion.