Actually, cats do this to protect you from gnomes who come and steal your breath while you sleep.

In reality, everyone is good in bed. Close eyes. Shutdown brain. Pause as necessary. Restart brain. Open eyes. What's there to not be good at? Bed is the one place where laziness is rewarded.

I'm just saying it's easier to kill a cat than dispose of a car.

You'd really spend about a hundred dollars for fake testicles for your cat? I'm not sure I'd spend that for fake testicles for myself.

The best way to encourage out of the box thinking is to draw the box correctly in the first place.

Be bold enough to let your destiny determine how far you get to travel in life instead of your fears and doubts.

Nothing is more fatal to health than an overcare of it.

All of us want to be part of something bigger than ourselves, something that matters.

They call me Good Time Emo. Because I love a good time! And my name is Emo.

By all means use sometimes to be alone. Salute thyself: see what thy soul doth wear.

There is no ethnic cleansing in Bahrain, no mass genocide, no policy of killing innocent people.

Don't mistake niceness for weakness.

We do many things we shouldn't in the course of a life. It doesn't make them right or wrong, just a part of who we are.

There's a few tunes of mine that don't have jokes, but most of them have a joke and they have a humorous point of view somewhere.