Actually, the reason I look like this is because my father was from Sweden and my mother was Elton John.

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

The Truth refreshes the soul. And revive the spirit.

I used to wear a lot of red lipstick, and when I got a pimple, I'd cover it up with eyeliner to turn it into a beauty mark.

I think of art as coming from daily life, daily experience. I think it's very important not to have it become work for some kind of elite circle.

Everybody in the world is talking about Canada…outside of the US, there is probably no country in the world that is producing more blue-chip young basketball talent than Canada.

All of us task-oriented obsessive compulsives must learn to slow down and let people into our lives.

The key to a great story is not who, or what, or when, but why.

There's no black and no white, just shades of grey...But the small betrayals lead to bigger ones, morality is eroded.

As a kid, there are some things you looked forward to. You looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football.

The coward regards himself as cautious, the miser as thrifty.

I know myself a Man-- Which is a proud and yet a wretched thing.