Admit your errors before someone else exaggerates them.

If dandelions were hard to grow, they would be most welcome on any lawn.

Hire great people and give them freedom to be awesome.

Local commerce, without question, will be one of the fundamental use cases enabled by mobile devices over the next several years.

I'm weird. But I'm a pretty serious person.

After four and a half intense and wonderful years as CEO of Groupon, I've decided that I'd like to spend more time with my family. Just kidding - I was fired today.

You're building a tool, not a piece of art. Don't be blinded by the vision.

We can't be afraid to be weird.

I never thought of myself as an entrepreneur before I started this. I just like to build things.

I think if there's any difference between me and a traditional CEO, it's that I've been unwilling to change myself or shape my personality around what's expected.

Life is too short to be a boring company.

Except. What is normal at any given time? We change just as the seasons change, and each spring brings new growth. So nothing is ever quite the same.

There are few things more discomfiting than a spontaneous outburst of genuine decency from someone you’re determined to dislike for no good reason.

Only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches...

When men drink, then they are rich and successful and win lawsuits and are happy and help their friends. Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever.

I'm gonna keep singing and dancing as long as I can.

Some people are so extremely whiffling and inconsiderable that they are as far from any real faults as from substantial virtues.

I told myself there was no way I was going to let this training go to waste. It was my time, and I was ready to go.

I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not. So it's hard for me to come up with things, because I don't write stuff, I don't write my act down.

Any action can be practiced as an art, as a craft, or as drudgery.

Never blame others for tracking in mud, until you have checked your own feet.