Advice: The suggestions you give someone else which you hope will work for your benefit.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

If the world needs to end on its own choice, it would have end by now.

My old ways were much more appealing than my new ways.

Even when I'm playing someone named 'Fat Amy.' I'm all about confidence and attitude.

The tourist may complain of other tourists, but he would be lost without them.

Like some high official, you have to tell your brain: 'Do it. Come on. I have to do it.'

There is a place in the net where the keeper cannot reach the ball. The problem is the pressure you feel in a penalty shootout.

The main thing I've learned is that we all have to learn to work with - and appreciate - the brain we've been given, and not waste time wishing things were easier.

Truth be told, our modern education systems crush the very spirit they claim to instill.

"My door is always open - bring me your problems." This is guaranteed to turn on every whiner, lackey and neurotic on the property.

The Hindus have cultivated the power of analysis and abstraction. No nation has yet produced a grammar like that of Panini.