After God created the world, He made man and woman. Then, to keep the whole thing from collapsing, He invented humor.

Good manners are just a way of showing other people that we have respect for them.

My cousin is an agoraphobic homosexual, which makes it kind of hard for him to come out of the closet.

For years I thought my father was a hunchback. Turns out he didn't know suspenders were adjustable.

I can't see the future. But when I dreamed of the future, he was the one I was tied to.

You can’t make a high jump without high spirits!

The reason why I play around with the word legend is because this is my 7th CD and a lot of artists don't even make it that far. Many artists don't even pass three or four.

Never give advice to your children unless you have it in writing and notarized.

I've always been quite a happy person, but when I'm low, I'm pretty darn low.

Being a sport star and a chef both require passion, commitment, work and natural ability.

I had a definite sense of somehow being a passenger in an evil vehicle crusing through Paradise.

We are faithful not to the triumphant golden eagle (ironically, also an imperial symbol of power in Rome) but to the slaughtered Lamb.

No leader can create sustainable, significant change without a reservoir of good will. Without that, you always tend to compromise with failure.