After Jesus showed up, the Old Testament basically became a way for Bible publishers to keep their word coun

Agnostics are just atheists without balls.

A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?

All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ.

Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes.

America used to live by the motto "Father Knows Best." Now we're lucky if "Father Knows He Has Children." We've become a nation of sperm donors and baby daddies.

Clearly, America has no shortage of metaphorical opportunities for the poor.

So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.

All weather is sin-related. Lust causes thunder, anger causes fog, and you don't want to know what causes dew.

That's not a religion, that's Pokemon.

... had to pee like a racehorse at an Iced Tea convention.

I hear them say "Why do I miss someone I haven't even met?"How about not missing someone because it feels like they've been with you all along?

Don't waste hate on pink geranium.

I'm strong and fearless and not afraid to take risks in business.

The real Zen of the old Chinese masters was wu-shih, or "no fuss."

The most dramatic conflicts are perhaps, those that take place not between men but between a man and himself - where the arena of conflict is a solitary mind.

Sporadic thoughts will pop into my head and I'll have to go write something down, and the next thing you know, I've written a whole song in an hour.

I've got 11 brothers and sisters.

The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom.

We are built with a passion in our heart for the things that we're meant to do.

I was afraid of marriage. I had the impression married life would take up all my time. I saw myself drowning in visits and parties. No freedom.