After age twelve, birthdays should be as private as hernia surgery.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

what is Thomas didn't run, What if Harry didn't survive, what if Percy didn't fight, what if Tris didn't jump, what if Katniss didn't volunteer, What if Hazel didn't love

When one does not die for the other, then we are already dead_

Life is an art, not a science. You make it up as you go along.

When I'm writing, I know I'm doing the thing I was born to do.

Negro music and culture are intrinsically improvisational, existential. Nothing is sacred. After a decade, a musical idea, no matter how innovative, is threatened.

I am not afraid of crashing, my secret is . . . just before we hit the ground, I jump as high as I can.

I'm always calling my doctor because I'm constantly injuring myself while on the road, like tearing a ligament, blasting my ears or losing my voice. Plus, I'm a total hypochondriac.

Work is the best of all psychotherapy, in my opinion. . . . As well might we expect a patient to recover without food as to recover without work.

I love being on set, because I've basically grown up on a set. And now I love to contribute as a director and help steer the ship, if you will.

Hip doesn't really come into play anymore as far as I can tell.