After all, when you seek advice from someone it's certainly not because you want them to give it. You just want them to be there while you talk to yourself.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

El que lee mucho y anda mucho, ve mucho y sabe mucho.

Don't let them drag you down by rumors just go with what you believe in.

You feel better when you're eating food that retains nutritional value.

Narcotics cannot still the tooth. That Nibbles at the soul

I think we've got to do more to stop foreign fighters, foreign funding and take ISIS on online, as well as doing everything necessary to keep us safe at home.

Eventually, a collection ceases to be a personal indulgence and assumes its own identity. In fact, it becomes a thing in its own right - rather like Frankenstein's monster.

It is by no means necessary to understand things to speak confidently about them.

Ninety percent of all human wisdom is the ability to mind your own business.

I don’t think any man writing can worry about what the act of writing costs him, even though at times he is very aware of it.

A lawyer art thou? Draw not nigh! Go, carry to some fitter place The keenness of that practised eye, The hardness of that sallow face.