After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

The sacred words are sword of life.

We must understand that out of community and dialogue, the answers will arrive in their own time and way.

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it.

Deep down I'm a very shallow person.

All my life affection has been showered upon me, and every forward step I have made has been taken in spite of it.

The strength of any weakness within us is the degree to which it is feared.

Allow me, in conclusion, to congratulate you warmly upon your sexual intercourse, as well as your singing.

In the performance of a good action, we not only benefit ourselves, but we confer a blessing upon others.

In a way, this kind of insight or recognition often permeates the way I think of character, how I plot action, and the way in which I use imagery, seeing binaries as false.

Nobody becomes Tom Wolfe overnight, not even Tom Wolfe.