Against these two [Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton] I would [vote], but I never voted for [Barack Obama]. I always voted third party - the ones who say their gonna jail the bankers.

To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again.

Haven't you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald's has a new sandwich?

Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog.

God's everywhere, but I gotta go down (to church) to see him? Really? And he's mad at me down there, and I owe you money?

Let's go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you're thinking.

Surround yourself with positive people. Also, be a positive person. Root for people. Somebody else's success is not your failure.

My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious.

Nothing worse than when a 6 acts like a 10.

I've never wanted to kill myself over anything major. It's always the little things that do me in.

Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into.

The Mountains teach me to look up .. Rise up .. But by feats holding firmly to the ground ... My eyes gets lock on to the peaks and i win over myself there ...

Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else.

I am a Democrat. I have been one all of my life.

We'll stay warm tonight even if we have to sit by each other and snuggle.

I made it about a three-day weekend so people wouldn't have to change their clothes a lot. We didn't have an art department; we didn't have a make-up department.

In 1980, I published my first novel, in the usual swirl of unjustified hope and justified anxiety.

I think quotes are very dangerous things.

I enjoy playing the game. It's hard for me to just watch it, even while broadcasting.

Happiness is no other than soundness and perfection of mind.

That's what improvising is like for me. There's no tollbooth between my impulse and my action.