Age is just a number, unless of course your trying to have a conversation with them.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

Aim deliberately at goal and stay focus to fulfill it.

A dead plant is nothing but a sign to plant a new one

You'll never see it my way, because you're not me!

We don't have stomachs for the things of this world because we have feasted on the goodness of our God.

I grew up in Del Mar, Calif., north of San Diego. I got my first job the summer after eighth grade at a small Internet service provider.

I would rather write for the instruction, or even the amusement of the poor than for the amusement of the rich.

Through the persons who explicitly accept his Word, the Lord reveals the world to itself.

When we put someone in our jail cell of hatred, we are stuck guarding the door.

I was a chubby boy. My pants used to wear out in the middle, and it was because my legs used to rub together. I wasn't obese, just chunky.

Church and state are, and must remain, separate.