Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.

Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

No matter how often I tell people I'm thirty-nine some of them refuse to believe I'm that old.

A rich man is one who isn't afraid to ask the salesperson to show him something cheaper.

It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.

A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

I went to a meeting for premature ejactulators. I left early.

I gambled at the crap table all night and finally lost $8, but during that time the house gave me four drinks and two cigars, so it was still a lot cheaper than renting a room.

The day science begins to study non-physical phenomena, it will make more progress in one decade than in all the previous centuries of its existence.

Loneliness becomes an acid that eats away at you.

His pomposity is overshadowed only by his rank stupidity

Painting, drawing - I'm really into photography, I've done it since high school.

Moments is about a girl dying and her boyfriend committing suicide because he can't live without her

No one knows what women want!

If the law is a bad law, there is always the contingent right to take action that you would not otherwise take.

Artists make things so much easier for themselves when they learn to trust their eyes.

Every word, every look, every action, and every smile can bring happiness to others.

I never wanted to be a celebrity; I never wanted to be famous. And in my daily life, I work really hard to not trade on it in any way.