Ah, how many luxuries has the good God prepared for his Jewish children.

Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor.

No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you.

You see how it is, my dear friends. There's no pleasing everyone. It's hopeless to even try, and the more you play the peacemaker, the less peaceful things become.

One cannot live on potatoes alone. It is said that one wants bread with potatoes. And when there's no bread, a Jew takes his stick, and goes through the village in search of business.

If you listen carefully, you get to hear everything you didn't want to hear in the first place.

Gossip is nature's telephone.

The rich swell up with pride, the poor from hunger.

If somebody tells you you have ears like a donkey, pay no attention. But if two people tell you, buy yourself a saddle.

Without love our life is ... a ship without a rudder ... like a body without a soul.

You can take a Jew out of a shtetl, but you cannot take a shtetl out of a Jew.

Who needed Prozac when a girl could get Pillsbury without a prescription?" ~Allie Shelby, Personal Assets

Pondering must turn out to be your cash asset, regardless of whichever ups and downs you occur throughout in the everyday living.

Most people, especially successful people, are hard-working. They want to participate. They want to do things well.

There are days when I can hear men tying their shoe laces in the gallery.

Friends should be very delicate and careful in administering pity as medicine, when enemies use the same article as poison.

Jazz is music made by and for people who have chosen to feel good in spite of conditions.

They couldn't wait to get me out. My dad found my place, my mom helped me pack, and my brother was making architectural plans for my bedroom. It was just what you do at 18.

There is a kind of latent omniscience, not only in every man, but in every particle.

I wish I would have known Kurt Cobain. I would have been the first guy there to get him help, doing anything I could have. I just felt like the people around him kind of let him down.

How is it that society professes to embrace the value of honesty when so few are found of it?