Ah, lives there a man with soul so dead, who never to himself hath said As he hunched and rolled in his comfortable bed: To hell with the rent . . . I'll drink instead!

The downward spiral of Dumbness in America is about to hit a new low.

Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

I learned a long time ago that reality was much weirder than anyone's imagination.

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that claim a God and the only thing that behaves like it hasn't got one.

Sleep late, have fun, get wild, drink whisky and drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested.

America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.

So we shall let the reader answer this question for himself: who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?

Anything that gets your blood racing is probably worth doing.

Hope rises and dreams flicker and die. Love plans for tomorrow and loneliness thinks of yesterday. Life is beautiful and living is pain.

Vampire strength might not let me lift cars, but I will tear up some shrubbery all day long.

All continuous suffering, is self inflicted.

Rampaging horsemen can conquer

I just want to be known as the greatest everis that too much to ask?

Once you've spent two years trying to wiggle one toe, everything is in proportion.

May all of your cards be live and may all of your pots be monsters.

I want to save my people. That is the purpose of my life

Insanity - a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.

I don't like the midnight closing on weekends. It's one thing to tell people they have to drive to Jiffy Lube Live in the outer suburbs.

Come on. I don't have any problem violating my own insights in practice.