Ah, my princess. Noble steed. How does the morning find you both?

I don't like lollipops.

Artemis Fowl will never be secondary." "I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?" said Holly.

Butler could kill you a hundred different ways without use of his armoury. Though I'm sure one would be quite sufficient.

I hear that you were on a date with Trouble Kelp. Are you two planning on building a bivouac any time soon?

Either that boy is the sanest creature on Earth, he thought, or he is so disturbed that our tests cannot even begin to scratch the surface.

Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?" Artemis blinked. "Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.

Butler was seeing the world as it was, complete with L.E.P retrival team

Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told. --Artemis Fowl

I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.

It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget.

The path of imperfection is the loving way to learn tolerance and happiness.

There is no reason why an individual, who has the misfortune to become insane, should, on that account, be deprived of any comfort or even luxury...

The future of the world will belong to whoever can harness energy and food.

To endeavor to work upon the vulgar with fine sense is like attempting to hew blocks with a razor.

We are stuck with not knowing what our actions will actually lead to.

From that day on, I ran from spot to spot.

Actors cannot choose the manner in which they are born. Consequently, it is the one gesture in their lives completely devoid of self-consciousness.

I squirm when I see athletes praying before a game. Don't they realize that if God took sports seriously he never would have created George Steinbrenner.

Women are using makeup to make their eyes look puffy, their noses look red, and instead of going to the gym, they start their day with a brisk walk of shame.

It is fundamental to Socialism that we should liquidate the British Empire as soon as we can.