Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

Healing from a loss doesn't happen on schedule.You need to give the head and heart time to catch up with the reality.

A thought is of a much higher value than an action.

In a democracy the people choose a leader in whom they trust. Then the chosen leader says, 'Now shut up and obey me.' People and party are then no longer free to interfere in his business.

I think that the United States has always been most effective when it is leading both from power and principle.

What does God want me to do with the resources, time, and talents He has given me?

The human species is no more unsuited to give birth than any other of the 5,000 or so species of mammals on the planet. We are merely the most confused.

I'm suddenly finding it hard to know the difference between nightmares and consciousness.

People of the world don't look at themselves, and so they blame one another.

She was just a shell of her former self, functioning and talking but hardly alive.

If two New Hampshiremen aren't a match for the devil, we might as well give the country back to the Indians.