[Al] Franken is left-wing and funny. He's a pretty good political humorist.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

People wrap themselves in their beliefs. And they do it in such a way that you can't set them free. Not even the truth will set them free.

There's no choice that doesn't mean a loss.

Eyes speak the best of the body language.

My heart burns for the deliverance of Africa.

The essence of mathematics lies precisely in its freedom.

I like art history and art criticism. Leo Steinberg has always been my favorite. Hes very original, very accurate and acute.

Usually, the creating of the book happens while I'm writing the book. I start with Chapter One, with a few ideas and a handful of characters, and the book grows from there.

The public voice in the theater today is crude and raucous, and, all too often, weak-minded.

I'm trying to make enough money where I can be financially independent and be able to go and just pursue that thing that everybody really needs, just pursue my family and the cause of my family