Al Gore couldn't be more phony if he were a professional Al Gore impersonator

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

It is not, how one thinks. Indeed, it is, how one executes that.

The depth of friendship depends on the depth of our love.

I consent Sir, to this Constitution because I expect no better, and because I am not sure, that it is not the best.

I've seen people wearing clothes that don't look good on them, but they're really loving those clothes and the experience of wearing those clothes. Fine. At the end of the day, it's fashion.

With his head in his hands, God thought and thought, Till he thought: I'll make me a man!

I really believe that entrepreneurship is about being able to face failure, manage failure and succeed after failing.

Non-violence is not a quality to be evolved or expressed to order. It is an inward growth depending for sustenance upon intense individual effort.

About that time, stronger features became fashionable on the screen.

How long can interest rates stay negative? Think about this. Not only are you lending your money to governments, but you're paying them interest for the privilege of doing so.

When the soul wants to depend upon nothing, not even upon life, that is the height of philosophy, the height of manhood.