Alas, why will a man spend months trying to hand over his liberty to a woman--and the rest of his life trying to get it back again?

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him, but a sympathetic woman gets him.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

The soul never thinks without a picture.

The cheesecake was smooth and lush, with the personality of a warm and well-to-do uncle who knows a hundred dirty jokes and will die of sexual exertions in the arms of his mistress.

Feast of Stephen, Deacon, First Martyr, the man who will not act until he knows all will never act at all.

Everywhere you go, there's a soundtrack. You can't really quite hear it. It's just a little out of the range of hearing.

The key to the understanding and to the full comprehension of all that the Prophets have said is found in the knowledge of the figures, their general ideas, and the meaning of each word they contain.

In God's pattern of justice, He takes the risk of the guilty going free but not the innocent being punished.

He blinked, then roared with laughter. "Eve Dallas, Vampire Slayer. One for the books." ~Eternity in Death

It makes me so much calmer when I’m responding to e-mails later.

I'm not in favor of any discrimination of any form.

If you start embracing life's storms instead of hiding away from them, you'll stop fearing them all together; it is this way one becomes immovable.