Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl's clothes off.

When I split an infinitive, God damn it, I split it so it stays split.

Down these mean streets a man must go who is neither tarnished nor afraid

He looked about as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food.

Some are able and humane men and some are low-grade individuals with the morals of a goat, the artistic integrity of a slot machine, and the manners of a floorwalker with delusions of grandeur.

It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained-glass window.

There are two kinds of truth; The truth that lights the way and the truth that warms the heart. The fist of these is science and the second is art.

It seemed like a nice neighborhood to have bad habits in.

The challenge of screenwriting is to say much in little and then take half of that little out and still preserve an effect of leisure and natural movement

At least half the mystery novels published violate the law that the solution, once revealed, must seem to be inevitable.

Chess is as elaborate a waste of human intelligence as you can find outside an advertising agency.

Ingmar Bergman had a great sense of humor, and he had a very special, characteristic laugh that you always recognized - if he went to watch a theater show, 'Ah! He is here tonight.'

Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.

I've liked lots of people 'til I went on a picnic jaunt with them.

It's the way you say thank you like you're genuinely thankful. I have never met anyone else who does that on a regular basis.

Being an artist is celebrating life.

Audiences forget facts, but they remember stories. Once you get past the jargon, the corporate world is an endless source of fascinating stories.

No one should feel afraid of the unknown. Because everyone is capable of achieving everything he wants and needs.

And I’m calling in a favor. (Savitar) Sav, you can’t keep doing this. I’m running out of places to put the bodies. (Takeshi)

The Gospel is this: You're more sinful, evil and weak than you'd ever believe. But you're more valued, accepted and loved than you dared hope.

I don't like the idea of busing children all over the country. It's not safe. And there doesn't seem to be that much of an urgent need for it to be done.