Alienation, I suppose, can't be hackneyed because it will always exist.

I used to think I was a little unstable, and then I met every girl I've ever dated.

Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have "plans.

What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math.

The key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial.

Falling in love is a completely transcendent experience. It's like eating pizza-flavored ice cream

Dopamine is a chemical released in your brain and your body when you sleep that paralyzes your body so you don't act out your dreams.

The one thing you're most reluctant to tell. That's where the comedy is.

I love pizza so much, I would marry pizza, but it would just be an elaborate ploy to eat her whole family at the reception.

Creepy people do the things that decent people want to do, but have decided are not a great idea.

It was a hard name having growing up as a child. Some kids would call me names like "Birbiglebug" and "Birbibliography" and "Faggot". Some were more clever than others.

Reading always calmed me down: filling my head with other - made up - people's problems and conflicts made my own seem less terrible, less real.

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

Deformed persons commonly take revenge on nature.

There is no heat of affection but is joyned with some idlenesse of brain, says the Spaniard.

The law will never make a man free; it is men who have got to make the law free.

One man can make another's life so much better.

The dollar bill is God in the States. All those Pelican people just believe in money and nothing else.

And as for baby-boomer parents cluck-clucking about illegal substances, ah, gimme a break. Still, I think I'll pass on the rave. But more power to 'em, I say.

I don't know if I'm a strict parent or a pushover.

All we see and admire today will burn in the universal fire that ushers in a new, just, happy world.