Aliens don't get stuck in air ducts. It's practically a well-known fact.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

If only the human body could handle trauma as well as biotechnology stocks do.

When a great life sets it leaves an afterglow on the sky far into the night.

True, you don't have to be religious to be crazy, but it helps. Indeed, if you are religious, you don't have to be crazy in the medically certifiable sense in order to do massively crazy things.

Blackberry Smoke is the real deal!

[Donna] Brazile had sent an email to a top [Hillary] Clinton aide the day before the town hall warning of just that question with almost the identical wording.

To know one thing, you must know the opposite.

Most ideas are a bit scary, and if an idea isn't scary, it's not an idea at all.

People only believe what they discover for themselves. We need to have civil discussions, and look at what the facts and the truth are.

For years I have been going to the South of France to cool out.