Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

Resist the short term temptation of procrastination

What does reason know? Reason only knows what it has succeeded in learning...

There were some problems only coffee and ice cream could fix.

You don't walk away if you love someone. You help the person.

When you drop your guard in films, the acting process compensates. You get lazy and you start acting.

Fine manners are like personal beauty,--a letter of credit everywhere.

I will not die an unlived life.

The purposes of our God are great, His love unfathomable, His wisdom infinite, and His power unlimited; therefore, the Saints have cause to rejoice and be glad.

The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us.

Sometimes the British press is maybe a little bit racist.