All I do is convert liberals to conservatism. That's what I do, and that's why they don't like me.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

We should tend our freedom wisely.

Rumors about me? Calista Flockhart, Pam Anderson, and Matt Damon. That's who I'm dating.

It is the calm and silent waters that drown you.

Start by assuming the market is always wrong, so if you copy everybody else on Wall Street, you're doomed to do poorly.

I'm going to be going to a secluded spot where no one can find me - NBC prime time.

Soon after I was born, my parents moved to the South Florida area, and I've lived here ever since (with a few years of living in both Portugal and Brazil in my younger days).

I don't like to see all my energies, all of my youth, wasted in fur coats and radios and slipcovers.

I know a lot of Americans in Paris who have married Frenchmen. They keep bringing up their experience, the clash of civilizations, the clash of personalities.

You photograph with all your ideology.

I have so much hair; I have a separate wig closet in my house.