All ballplayers want to wind up their careers with the Cubs, Giants or Yankees. They just can't help it.

Sure I eat what I advertise. Sure I eat Wheaties for breakfast. A good bowl of Wheaties with bourbon can't be beat.

If Satch (Paige) and I were pitching on the same team, we would clinch the pennant by July fourth and go fishing until World Series time.

Son, what kind of pitch would you like to miss?

It ain't bragging if you can do it.

Let the teachers learn the kids English. Ol' Diz will learn the kids baseball.

Me and Paul (Dean) will probably win forty games (they won forty-nine).

The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing.

I ain't what I used to be, but who the hell is?

I only went to the third grade because my father only went to the fourth and I didn't want to pass him.

I was blessed with a strong arm and a weak mind.

Ignorantly Violate the Laws of Universe Brings Destructive Result to Individual Lives

It was almost romantic, in a mad-inventor sort of way.

Some of the best fan mail I get are from our men and women in the military and intelligence communities. They say, 'Boy you do your homework, this is exactly how we're doing it.'

Golf is you against yourself.

Nature is beautiful, not because it changes beautifully, but simply because it changes.

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.

We can forgive a man for making a useful thing as long as he does not admire it

I believe in my neighbors. I know their faults and I know that their virtues far outweigh their faults.

I believe that creativity comes from compromise. If you could have everything you ever wanted, it doesn't always work.