All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

And I can't be running back and fourth forever between grief and high delight.

Are women beautiful or aren't we?

I'm pretty sure those're my balls you've found, ” I said to the man searching my pants. “You gonna count 'em out now? Because I'll save you the trouble. There's two.

Ideal conversation must be an exchange of thought and not as many of those who worry about their shortcomings believe an eloquent exhibition of wit or oratory.

Easter is one of my favorite holidays with the kids. They get to run loose, and we always have our family and loved ones all around us!

Here’s my mantra: ‘Every mile is a gift.’

Experience has taught me a lot, and I don't want to let that fall by the wayside.

Compatible comes from the Latin "compati", meaning "to suffer with". If you are not willing to suffer with someone until death do you part, then you are not compatible.

It's a sad day when a cartoon is doing more and cares more and pays more attention to the environment than our president.

A satyagrahi must ceaselessly strive to realize and live truth. And he must never contemplate hurting anyone by thought, word or deed.