All he had was nothing, but that was something, and now it had been taken away.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

The monkeys solved the puzzle simply because they found it gratifying to solve puzzles. They enjoyed it. The joy of the task was its own reward.

Let us dance as if life is a dance of our soul and spirit.

We are each, then, a sentence within the boundless book of humanity. The question is… What will our sentence read, how eloquently will it read, and who will read it?

Dissents speak to a future age.

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.

I have long feared that my sins would return to visit me. And the cost is more than I can bear.

We can live in fear or act out of hope.

Work from pithy middle eye out, swimming in language sea.

The human body has absolutely no requirement for animal flesh. Nobody has ever been found face-down 20 yards from Burger King because they couldn't get their Whopper in time.

The difference between education and know-how is that one you pay for, the other you charge for.