All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes!

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

Do you know that I love now to recall and visit at certain dates the places where Iwas once happy in my own way? I love to build up my present in harmony with the irrevocable past...

The art of conversation is the art of hearing as well as of being heard.

Every person alive thinks they are the center of the universe, that they are everything, when in fact each of us is less than nothing.

Good questions are to be appreciated, not answered.

Blessed is the man who having nothing to say abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.

Schools attempt to take credit for what occurs naturally, and blame others for the negative consequences of institutionalization.

Despereaux marveled at his own bravery. He admired his own defiance. And then, reader, he fainted.

Everything can change at any moment, suddenly and forever.

He attacked us. What was I supposed to do? Invite him to dinner? (Sin)

I'm almost completely without family and it's a very odd feeling in life. I have no children.