All male writers, incidentally, no matter how broke or otherwise objectionable, have pretty wives. Somebody should look into this.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.

He didn't look like a soldier at all. He looked like a filthy flamingo.

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Perhaps I am the turtle, able to live simply anywhere, even underwater for short periods, with my home on my back.

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

He that has satisfied his thirst turns his back on the well.

I don't need to relive my fears anymore. All I need to do now is try to overcome them.

I recovered from recovering so no longer celebrate not doing bad things to defend myself as good. I added new bad for good measure.

If physical death is the price that I must pay to free my white brothers and sisters from a permanent death of the spirit, then nothing can be more redemptive.

Callin my ex-girl or e-mailin my mama, you're the only one that's causin me this drama.

Any organization or any individual that targets civilians and kills them for political agenda is a terrorist organization.

What baron or squire Or knight of the shire Lives half so well as a holy friar.

My parents are good role models because they've worked hard and gave me a happy childhood.

The desire for self-improvement is vital. There is no point in pushing children; they need to be the ones who want to learn new skills.

Gadgets are usually the last thing I think about, and if there's something new, I'll get to the store for the final shipment of the first generation when it's on sale. So I have last year's stuff.