All men have an instinct for conflict: at least, all healthy men.

Wherever the Catholic sun doth shine, There’s always laughter and good red wine. At least I’ve always found it so. Benedicamus Domino!

The control of the production of wealth is the control of human life itself.

When one remembers how the Catholic Church has been governed, and by whom, one realizes that it must have been divinely inspired to have survived at all.

When I am dead, I hope it may be said: His sins were scarlet, but his books were read.

The Llama is a woolly sort of fleecy hairy goat, with an indolent expression and an undulating throat; like an unsuccessful literary man.

We wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfillment.

I shoot the Hippopotamus with bullets made of platinum, because if I use the leaden one his hide is sure to flatten em.

The Church is a perpetually defeated thing that always outlives her conquerers.

These are the advantages of travel, that one meets so many men whom one would otherwise never meet, and that one feeds as it were upon the complexity of mankind

I have wandered all my life, and I have also traveled; the difference between the two being this, that we wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfillment.

When all is lost, but life, really nothing is lost.

Retire within thyself, and thou will discover how small a stock is there. [Lat., Tecum habita, et noris quam sit tibi curta supellex.]

I knew I could make a good living working in the mills, ... I decided I didn't want to fuss with the rest of it, so I hitch-hiked back home.

I guess I'll have to change my plan I should have realized there'd be another man Why did I buy those blue pyjamas Before the big affair began? I guess I'll have to change my plan.

I was never in an episode of I LOVE LUCY!

If you don't set your writing - teaching - at a level that makes them stretch, they are never going to develop their intellectual muscle.

How lucky my life is that I have two arms, and two legs, and ten fingers with which to make things out of wood.

I was irrevocably betrothed to laughter.

I'm not one of those actors who romanticizes his trials working out and brags that he can bench press a panda now.

The object of the passion is just an accessory to the passion itself.